Why Do People Get Uneasy When A Single Mother Chooses For Her Child To Sleep In Her Bed?? Age <1?

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As a single mother with little time with her son, let my child sleep with me every night… he has a crib and all the trimmings, but I truely dont mind it… i know how and what to expect when it is time for him to have a routine for school… why do people fret over it so much?

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17 Responses to “Why Do People Get Uneasy When A Single Mother Chooses For Her Child To Sleep In Her Bed?? Age <1?”

  1. me says:

    I’m not a single mom, but people still fret over my husband and I sleeping with our son. People would rather have their children scream in cribs all night than babies being comforted by their family. Cosleeping is not the norm in the united states but it is in other countries. Screw what others think, do what you feel is best for you and your son. Oh, and you’ll always heare “that kid will never get out of your bed blablabla you’ll ruin em”. My family always have coslept, most kids get out of the family bed by the time they are 3-when they are ready! If you are no longer single, mommy and daddy can do it somewhere other than the bed lol!

  2. philyra2 says:

    It comes from the belief that you will “spoil” your child. That’s a lot of hogwash that has fortunately seen it’s day. Most of the younger generation have no problem with this. It is a nice thing to do for you and your child. Don’t listen to the old biddies who say you shouldn’t do that. They weren’t held enough when they were babies.

  3. blondie says:

    i really dont know why they do. i think mostly because there is some risk of suffocation. my two older children both slept with us until they were ready to go to a big bed. they were both about four when they did so. dont worry about what other people think about this. it is what you feel comfortable with ; )

  4. Curious LA says:

    Cribs or dedicated sleeping for babies resulted from the large numbers of babies that were smothered while sleeping with adults. This is especially true for nursing mothers that go to sleep while baby nurses – easily being smothered by breasts. Rollovers have also contributed to the deaths of infants sleeping with adults. There is nothing wrong with sitting up and allowing the baby to sleep on you while you are awake, but the consequences are far too often tragic. See: http://www.hbo.com/autopsy/episode/10_in

  5. Anonymous says:

    I am a single mom too and I know how it feels to want your baby to sleep with you I always did but it will lead to them wanting to sleep with you all the time, and that can get exhausting. I did let him sleep with me when he was sick though because I felt so bad for him and he wanted cuddles.

  6. jgmafb says:

    because a lot of kids have a hard time breaking that habit,.don’t ruin your kid.

  7. onearkan says:

    Dont listen to them. I myself am a single mother of one, who still co-sleeps 75% of the time. (no boyfriend or fiancee) I was also raised by a single mother, who allowed my sister to co-sleep until she was 11 yrs old, mainly due to some personal problems my sister had, and she was scared to be alone(she was molested by a trusted friend) But other than that, my sister is FINE. I started co-sleeping, because my son had health problems, and it was easier for me when he was younger. Now, since my mother has been taken off of work, and I had to move back in with her to help her financially, I just continued to share my bed with my son, because with a three bedroom house, and four people in it….I had to give somewhere, and that meant only one bed in my bedroom.

  8. Queen Queso says:

    I’m not a single mother, and my son usually sleeps in his crib, but the crib is in our bedroom and he does occasionally sleep with us. He is almost 11 months old. There are some nights when he is just over-tired, upset, wakes up like he had a bad dream, or is sick, and those nights he is usually in bed with us for a few hours at least.
    People fret over it for several reasons, the first of which being that it’s not entirely safe. Some adults sleep so heavily that they could roll onto and smother the baby, or the baby could roll off the side of the bed and get hurt.
    Another reason is that it is a very hard habit to break if you let it go on too long. When I was little, I can remember going into my mom and dad’s room if I had a nightmare or if there was a storm, or if I was sick. But my baby brother, who is now 12, slept in his own room until he was a toddler, and then began sleeping with my parents for some reason. He still sleeps there every night. And I had a friend in high school who at 15, still shared a bed with her mom.
    And the third reason is that people are just nosy and think they know best. They want to feel like they have given advice and were right about something. I think it is probably best to just give them a semi-polite smile, nod and change the subject or walk away.
    If I had it to do over, instead of getting a cradle, I would have gotten one of those co-sleepers that attach to the side of the bed.

  9. kiwi says:

    There have been instances of adults rolling over on infants and smothering them. That’s what I thought of first when i read your question.
    Baby learns independance when he/she sleeps alone, which is a good thing if going to daycare. A crib in the next room from yours is a good idea.

  10. glitterm says:

    i wouldnt worry about what negative people say i have an 8 year old and a 3 year old.my 8 year old slept in the same bed as me until he was 3 and he has no sleeping issues hes quite happy to sleep by himself and the same with my 3 year old.sleeping in the same bed has had no affect on them so if your comfortable with it do it you will know when you have had enough and want your bed to yourself.good luck with it and happy new year

  11. baby_sav says:

    It is not just because you are a single mom – married couples get just as much grief about letting their kids sleep with them.

  12. tink24ml says:

    I was the same way. Single mom and I co-slept with my daughter at night. It was easier to feed her that way also and I loved snuggling with her. She took naps in her crib and when she was about 5-6 months old I moved her to her crib only. I was sad cause I missed her but so happy to have the whole bed back. She is 6 now and has no bed time issues. We took many naps together as she was growing and she still spent many nights in my bed during storms. Nothing in the last year but when my fiance is gone a few times during the year we have a sleepover in the big bed. Enjoy it before they learn to steal the blankets.

  13. Jen says:

    I don’t think it’s just single moms. People tend to have the misconception that children won’t be independent if they co-sleep with their parents. Actually the opposite has been proven true.
    The United States is one of the few countries where moms don’t regularly sleep with their infants. In most other countries, it’s unheard of to put baby in another bed, let alone another room.
    That’s not to say it’s wrong to have seperate sleeping arrangements for baby…but it’s not wrong to co-sleep either.
    You do what works best for your family and don’t let the “mommy wars” influence your decisions.
    As for the “suffication of baby” studies. This is actually so rare. In countries where co-sleeping is the norm, this hardly ever happens. It may happen slightly more in the US because of the type of bedding we have (soft and fluffy).
    Anyway, you take a gazillion more times risk with your child by putting him/her in a car every day. Children die every single day in car accidents (carseat or not) But we wouldn’t advise people not to drive with their infants, would we.
    You can’t fret about the rare instances in which something can go wrong. It’s a personal choice and you aren’t putting your child in danger by co-sleeping. Anyone who thinks you are should give up cars for the rest of their lives…because those are far more deadly.

  14. babyN says:

    It wont be good when they get older,when you WANT them to sleep in there bed they wont want to.Also sleeping in the same bed cant be much bonding time,why not find something else to do. Mabey you can let the child sleep in the room once in awhile but every night should not be allowed.

  15. dragonla says:

    I have a 5 year old i did the same…….doesn’t matter what others say……they’ll NEVER grow out of it……mine wants to sleep with us all the time and there are times i dont’ mind but there are times that i’d like more cuddly time with my husband too

  16. DJDanger says:

    Because its not the way the want to raise their baby, and its not their business! They need to stay out of it!

  17. PeachPie says:

    it just sounds like you want him there to fill some need. it’s kinda selfish and will most likely make him a little dependent on sleeping with you. just let him have his space, it’s healthier for both of you. do you want him to be a mommas boy or something?

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