Why Are People So Rude About Going Natural? Advice Please!?

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So im 28 weeks pregnant, and so excited to meet this little girl. Since the beginning I have planned on using Hypnobirthing. Meds and I are not friends, and I feel really comfortable with the decision. However the baby always comes first, so if something happens I would never jeopardize the health of my baby. Simple enough right?
What I don’t get is women who are so verbally rude about wanting to go natural. I’m going to try it no matter what they say, but I just don’t get it? It’s like the feud between stay at home moms and working moms. Shouldn’t we all just support one another?
Anyway, does anyone understand what im saying? I try not to be bothered but it drives me nuts! Who cares how I choose to go through labor?! What are your experiences going natural vs. meds?

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31 Responses to “Why Are People So Rude About Going Natural? Advice Please!?”

  1. Tsunammy Poe says:

    I have three kids and two of them were natural because what is the point if getting medication if it will cause back pain or whatever epidural My other baby, the doctor had to brake my water sac and I just did not have a chance to get med since fifteen minutes later I went into labor, because my baby did not want to come out and I was way passed my due date. lol

  2. to me its a personal decision. with my first I was induced and managed it without pain meds. this time around I’m having twins and for the safety of everyone involved my doctor, husband, and I decided to go with a c-section. but if you have a natural, medicated, or c-section it doesn’t make you more or less of a mom

  3. ?proud mommy of 3, TTC #4? says:

    Regardless of what you decide to do with birthing/name choices/clothing for your child/raising your child/etc…someone, somewhere is going to have something negative to say about it. When everything is said and done it is your body, your baby, and your CHOICE and it’s nobody else’s business! I agree ultimately we should all stick together and support each other but sadly in this world and in these times…that’s never going to happen. Good luck!

  4. Opinions are like belly buttons, every body has one. The debate between meds versus no meds rages on. Remember Tom Cruise and Brooke Shields about anti depressants? Just do what is right for you. Try to ignore the others. This is just the beginning of other people voicing opinions about child rearing.

  5. mckahlan says:

    Some people just think they know best, or that their individual situation applies to everyone. When I told my best friend that I was going to try an unmedicated birth, she actually outright laughed at me and said in her most know-it-all tone, “yeah right, see how far you get with that! Hahahaha!!!” Talk about rude. She thinks because she needed/wanted an epidural, that everyone should get one.
    Just ignore them. It’s your body and your decision. It’s absolutely nobody else’s business.

  6. Bess says:

    People react because of their own insecurities. By going natural you are making them feel like they aren’t strong enough / woman enough etc by using meds – not your fault but it explains why they say what they say – because of their own issues. But you are right, we should all just support each other. Its your choice if you want to go natural. I haven’t given birth yet so can’t really comment from experience, but I would say best of luck to you…I’m not that brave!

  7. Mandii says:

    It seems like no matter the topic, women always want to give their opinion when it comes to pregnancy, birthing, and raising children. I did not want to go all natural, and I was faced with criticism for my choice too. Sounds like you have a great attitude about the process, and your baby’s safety and well-being are being put first. Don’t listen to the comments of people who don’t support you, it will only cause you to second guess yourself, and your little one needs a strong mommy! Congrats and good luck!

  8. bleighxo says:

    I’m doing meds, but I think if you can bare going natural… Thats a great thing :) I think it takes alot to go natural and i give you props.
    I dont understand why woman would have anything bad to say about
    going natural vs meds. Honestly ovb the meds are more risky to a baby
    a natural child birth is pure and i think its great! :) Congrants!

  9. well i had a c section, and i couldn’t imagine it without meds. it was an emergency c section, so i was already on meds when they decided to do it. anyways, i understand what you mean though. i wouldn’t want to go with out the meds, but i support anyone who does. people are very judgmental, if you aren’t doing it there way, it must be wrong

  10. I suggest that some Mothers or Fathers may give you a negative sttitude because it maskes them feel as if they are less than you….everyone makes the best choice for themselves.

  11. 1st_time says:

    Great ?!! I have a friend who keeps telling me “you have to have an epidural”! I also plan on having a natural birth unless of course the baby goes into distress.
    Its a personal decision.

  12. teh captain of teh carpet ship says:

    i dont know, never having been pregnant, but i would use meds…. not because thats what i think everyone should do, and im not trying to tell you what you shoulkd do either, but because i dont like pain. i think that however you want to give birth is right for you.
    also congrats = ]

  13. Woodland says:

    There are women that are rude about using meds too. There are always going to be peopel that don’t agree with something. There are always going to be rude people.
    Just ignore it and do what’s best for you and your baby.

  14. Logan Matthew due 8/27!! says:

    You will get every side of everyone else’s opinions about how you should give birth, but the only opinion that really matters is yours. Screw what anyone els has to say and what they think about it. I took classes to give birth natural to see if I could do it, but I did end up getting an epidural, and I am glad that I did.
    Don’t worry about what any thinks. This is your baby, and YOUR life.
    Best wishes!

  15. Leslie says:

    I think woman are jealous b/c you are actually thinking of following through. I must say i would like to do the same when my day comes, but i could aways change my mind. You go gurl and do it naturally!!

  16. Don't Trickle on Me says:

    With my second child, I really wanted to go natural. I took a Hypnobirthing class, which I thought was great, very informative and empowering. But then I got toxemia, and when my baby went into distress, I ended up being induced and had an epidural because that pitocin is a b****. I did use the “pushing” technique I learned in hypnobirthing, however, and will use it this time too, I’m pregnant now with #3.
    This time, I don’t know what I’ll do. I guess I’ll play it by ear and just see what happens.
    I think a lot of women think going natural just isn’t possible. But then probably more than 50% of women now have their labor induced, so I can see why they would think that. But I personally know 4 women who have given birth naturally, 2 of them with the hypnobirthing method, 1 with the Bradley method, and 1 with the “I just don’t want drugs” method. (Meaning she just made it through.) So natural birth is possible!
    So, I think trying natural methods is great–I’m all for it. Just keep your options open, for your baby’s and your health and well-being.
    Maybe you need to keep your plans to yourself, or care less about the opinions of others.

  17. Ness says:

    I don’t think women try to come off as rude it’s just they’ve been through the actual experience themselves and when a first time mom says I’m going to have my baby all natural no drugs it’s sort of humorous because it’s like you dont’ know what you’re getting yourself into and they do so they think oh alright you go ahead and think that. I think if you think you can do it go for it, but if you want to use medication go for it. It all depends on you and your body you may not even have a choice to use medication because your labor might progress very fast as you may not have the choice of going natural because you might need a c-section or medication to help your labor move along. Hope all goes well and good luck!

  18. Amber B says:

    As a very natural mom who has unassisted home births, and home schools I totally understand what you are saying, but I just keep in mind that there are many people out there who are perfectly happy in their ignorance and don’t care about the risks of drugs to their baby as long as the birth is all about them and their comfort. I personally love water birthing, it just takes so much of the pain away. If women would choose to take responsibility for their bodies instead of handing them over to doctors, empower themselves and educate themselves, this nation would be a very different place. America the profiteering for hospital systems is the only place on earth with such an amazingly high hospital birth rate. The whole of the world 95% of babies are still born at home. I guess we just prefer to do it the worst way we can, against gravity with lethal drugs and doctors who could care less about us as long as they have our money

  19. blsdca says:

    Maybe the people that are giving you a hard time are the people that wanted to go natural, but then decided they needed meds, so they feel jealous or inferior or something? try not to let it bother you, do what is best for you in your situation. and remember not to get a better-than attitude when you talk to mom’s that did decide on meds, cause i’ve seen this happen too and i think that’s where some of the attitude you’re getting comes from. and good for you sticking with your choice. I could never do what you are doing, i’m going to be demanding drugs the second i get to the hospital.

  20. Smiley83 says:

    If going natural for you is how you feel…more power to you lady! I’m not sure why other women are so rude and judgemental. Possibly because they all feel they have a right to speak their mind about this situation. For me I too want to go natural but I am keeping an open mind for an epidural. As much as being pregnant is a wonderful experience we must also deal with the women who don’t think twice about what they say or they HAVE to give advice. Sometimes its hard for me to just take it and I have to say how I feel about their opinion. They can either take it like we do or well you might have an arguement (that you can blame on your horomones ; ] )
    …And I don’t care how you go through labor as long as it’s within your beliefs. Good luck mama!

  21. SmartA$$ says:

    Go for it. I have 2 kids and my wife gave birth to both of them naturally.
    The first was in a hospital, and the nurses and doctors were not too thrilled with the idea that my wife didn’t want any intervention. They get a little offended and in fact were quite rude. But none the less my daughter was born without drugs of any kind.
    My son (2nd child) we had with a midwife. We did a home birth, although we did it at the midwife’s house not our house. It was much better because the midwife also believes in natural childbirth.
    I suggest you look at a local library for a movie called “The business of being born” It will really open your eyes to how the medical profession views childbirth. I also suggest you find a midwife in your area and do either a home birth or go to a birth center instead of a hospital.
    Congratulations on your little girl. And don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t go natural. The human race existed for thousands of years before medication was first used in childbirth

  22. Meg says:

    I completely understand. I’ll be taking meds- pain and I aren’t friends :) and I really admire the strength that women going natural have. My MIL had all three of her kids natural and that’s awesome for her- she’s a strong women. But she has been criticizing me ofr everything I am doing in my pregnancy that she’s not. She thinks I’m stupid for wanting the meds- that I’ll jepordize the baby if I take them.
    I think we should all support each other in our choices- you’re very strong for going natural and I admire you for it.

  23. Jackie says:

    I’m want the pain medication and I’mgetting slack for it. I think either way you go people will have something to say. My inlaws won’t stop baggering me about everything! Good luck.

  24. Wrong Heaven says:

    Don’t sweat it hun! You just do what you think is right. YOU are that baby’s mom and YOU are the only one who knows what is right for them. If you think you need to dance around in a chicken suit while giving birth to make it the “right” choice for you and your baby, then do it! I’m just being silly of course, but I know what you mean. There are so many choices about being a mom and how to take care of that little human you have been put in charge of that if you try to listen to all the “Alpha Mom” wannabes out there you will drive yourself insane. It is not going to change either. There are people out there that wanna think their way is “right” so bad that they want to make people think they are a bad mommy if they do it any other way than what they think is best. DON’T even get me started about the crap I had to endure when I was unable to breastfeed!!! OMG!!
    I personally tried to go natural my first child. I ended up in so much pain from my contractions, that the nurses actually said that it would be better if I had an epidural so I would relax and my body would take over. Worked like a charm. Personally, I would get an epidural as soon as I walked in the hospital doors if they would let me…LOL but that’s just me.
    I have talked to lots of other women who went natural and did just fine.
    It’s you’re call Mom! You will do just fine! Best wishes and congrats!

  25. gen says:

    I had meds with my first 2 and I got “opinions” from other people on that. “Meds really aren’t good for the baby.” “It’s selfish to put yourself before the health of your baby” Those type of comments.
    Well, then with the 3rd one, I didn’t have any pain meds. It wasn’t something I thought very hard about, it’s just the pain wasn’t intolerable for me until it was too late to have them. But then I’d get negative comments about not having meds.
    You just can’t win. As long as you are doing what’s best for you and your baby, then forget what other people say.

  26. whinie_p says:

    I have done it both ways and have never had anyone be rude to me in either situation, but it seems petty to me for someone to be angry with you about choosing what you do with your body when it comes to birth. I mean- come on- you are the one pushing that big baby out of a tiny hole, not them! If anyone says anything rude to you again I would tell them to just mind their own business. How is it bad for you to want what is best for your baby? Nothing wrong with that. There is NOTHING wrong with wanting to go through labor without medications. Me personally I would never again want to do it without anything, but there is nothing wrong with people who choose not to get anything.

  27. bookish says:

    I agree with you. I think women give each other more trouble than men give us, and we’ll never get anywhere that way.
    I did not have the option of a choice. I was in labor for about 36 hours with my first one, and after being fully dialated without the baby coming out, I had to have a c-section. My second child was then a c-section because of several factors.
    I would never question a woman’s personal choice when it comes to this. The only thing I would ever criticize, and clearly this is NOT what you would do, is someone who refuses to change her mind if it becomes clear that continuing with the chosen course would harm the baby.
    I knew someone like this. The baby was in difficulty, and she was adamant against having a c-section. The child was born with severe brain damage and died at the age of 9. Avoiding a c-section was certainly not worth that.
    I also don’t think any woman should criticize another woman who opts for pain meds. Half of them will probably end up begging for them once labor hits, anyway. And there is nothing wrong with that. This is not supposed to be some kind of demented endurance contest. The only goal should be having a healthy baby.

  28. Ray says:

    Well going natural is much harder than having pain relief. Most women that have been through labor and birth think that because they decided the pain was too much for them, that it is too much for everybody. I’ve had epidurals with my first 2 kids and no pain medication with my 3rd. For me the 3rd was much more difficult since I have a very low tolerance for pain. I don’t know if it was just my baby or if not having pain medication affect her was the reason, but she was more alert than the first 2 and she latched on and did better breastfeeding than my other 2. And that was really great! I had no soreness or problems breastfeeding her and I believe it was from not having medication affect her.
    They think they know best, I hate that too.

  29. Laura Leigh says:

    I think people are afraid of what they don’t know. My daughter went natural and it was a wonderful experience. She had a little Nubain to help her relax in the whirlpool tub and her labor went really fast after that. My other daughter is planning the same type of delivery. Some people worry that there is no medical care involved, but there was a nurse midwife there and if there are any problems at all they send you to the hospital. good luck and don’t let people make you feel bad. It will be a wonderful experience.

  30. Kristin says:

    you know, when i first got pregnant, i was going to get an epidural. but as the months went on.. i have been looking at the ups and downs of each, and asking my mother questions about her pregnancy too. I have now decided to go natural too,after many months of thought. I want to be alert as possible and to tell ya the truth, I don’t want anything to slow the process of labor down. Some people don’t have as high of a tolerance to pain though. So, i can understand where they would opt for meds though.

  31. Shar ~Twin Boys 6 weeks left!!! says:

    People are always going to have something negative to say. With my first I was induced and had some pain meds but I refused to have an epidural. After I had him I was walking around like it was nothing. I was also 16 at the time and the doctor said that our bodies are made more to have children younger and that is why I bounced back so fast. My second one was born when I was 21 and I had her naturally. No drugs at all, even if I wanted them there was no time, she came fast. Didn’t even have an episotomy(sp) and I would say that was the most painful part, the tearing. I was up and around just as fast after her but in more pain due to the tearing. I would like to try for a water birth with the twins or even a different type of birth position, but since there is a higher risk that I will need a c-section (which I am not too happy about at all) I need to deliver in the OR. So I say screw all the spoil sports! Your baby, your body, your decision. Good Luck and Congrats!

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