How Do I Help My Partner Understand That Its Not Good To Continue Breastfeed My Child To Sleep?

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I am a breastfeeding advocate but when my child wakes 2 – 4 times a night and wants the same thing to get back to sleep it starts getting frustrating for everyone. – my child is almost 3 and I would like to begin sleep training but I believe this bond is preventing that. WHAT CAN I DO????? – P.S – we ALL do not get enough sleep and and the tension is UNBELIEVABLE!

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4 Responses to “How Do I Help My Partner Understand That Its Not Good To Continue Breastfeed My Child To Sleep?”

  1. silverxe says:

    I am all for breastfeeding…but I feel there comes a time when it is no longer apropriate for the mother, “baby”, and whole family. In this situation, breastfeeding is breaking the bond between your & your partner…which is a bond that is just as important as that between child and parent.
    All children need to learn to do things for themselves. Self-soothing & falling asleep are two things a child can & should do for themselves. When I weaned my first…it was practically instantaneous! I decided I would stop putting her to my breast automatically. I would let HER come to ME. She was about 10.5 months…and would periodically “ask” to nurse. (I taught her some baby sign and ‘nurse’ was one of the signs we used.) After a few days, she stopped asking. She seemed okay that I was giving her a bottle & no longer breastfeeding.
    With my second…she is 16 months and is breast-free for about…2-3 weeks! This process was much longer. She “asked” in a much more forcefuel way…pulling at my clothes, whining, crying…very demanding. So instead of leaving it up to her to stop on her own, I guided her gently. I kept it up during the night, but once there was daylight…no more breast! And then, with the help of my husband, I slowed the nighttime nursing until I was down to ONCE a night. Then…I had that stop, too. It was easiest if my husband took her out of the crib, soothed her with her pacifier, and then helped her back to sleep. She did not expect nursing from daddy…so she did not fuss when she didn’t get it.
    If your partner is having trouble grasping the conecpt of weaning…ask her how she would feel if the child was doing this in 2 years…another 5 years? The child is coming to her for breastfeeding, b/c he/she has no other idea how to fall asleep. This is the ONLY way he/she knows to fall asleep. Until another idea is introduced…he/she won’t HAVE another way to try!
    Good luck!

  2. whinie_p says:

    Not only does a three year old not need to be breast fed, (that should have stopped two years ago when the child was one) but he also does not need to be eating every three to four hours at night, and he doesn’t need to be sleeping in the bed with his parents. You need to talk with your partner and tell her everything that is wrong with this situation. If she doesn’t understand or isn’t willing to take the steps necessary to change this behavior, then tell her you will no longer be sleeping in the bed. If she does understand that this behavior should end, then simply put the child to bed in his own room and do not give in if he comes into your room at night to be fed. Get up and take him back to his room. You will not get a lot of sleep for the first day or two, but if you are consistent with it, and you do not let him in your room and you do not feed him until morning, he will learn that he isn’t going to get what he wants and he will stop. It isn’t going to be easy, but parenting is not supposed to be easy. It is something you will have to be consistent with.

  3. kat says:

    I would talk to the pediatrician about it. A three year old child does not need to be fed in the middle of the night and certainly not 2-4 times.

  4. Anonymous says:

    I think a 3 year old should be beginning to wean. I did the cry it out method with my oldest.

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