Do You Think The Cry It Out Method Is A Good Way To Get Your Child To Go To Sleep?

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My son is 2 and i am looking for methods to help him to go to sleep on his own what is everyones opinion on the let them cry them selves to sleep method im not sure about this method and not really sure if its the best route to go.

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31 Responses to “Do You Think The Cry It Out Method Is A Good Way To Get Your Child To Go To Sleep?”

  1. Somebody says:

    ~~let him cry it out. (it won’t kill him to cry it out) the only way he will get used to going to bed on his own is if he is forced into learning that behavior. he didn’t learn to stay up and be sat with every night in an over night process, so it will take time for him to learn that he’s the child and you are the mommy…. right now he thinks he is in charge, and he’s right, he is in charge as long as you allow him to be in charge he will remain in charge. consistancy in the bedtime routine is also important~~Bj

  2. If the baby’s crying it doesnt always mean somethings wrong. Sometimes they are so tired but fighting the sleep. Yes I let mine cry themselves to sleep all the time. I also didnt rush for bottles at the first cry either.I allowed them to cry a few minutes. It may sound like abuse but its advised by experts and Pediatricians. By doing that my kids are all happy go lucky and secure. I had a much easier time returning to work as well because I didnt overwhelm them with affection and give into every whimper.

  3. Mustang Gal says:

    I refuse to do the cry it out method. I will not subject my son to that.
    The following method was very successful for us.
    For three or four nights, I stayed with him comforting him with my touch and voice. I didn’t pick him up unless he really started crying. (I would let him fuss some, but not cry)
    Then for another three or four nights, I soothed him with just my voice from the door (If you have a big room, you might do half way to the door) – again, not picking him up or touching him unless he was really crying – not just fussing.
    After that, I stood on the other side of the closed door and soothed him from there.
    After just three nights of that, I could complete our bedtime routine, sing him two songs and tell him “Go to sleep. Mommy will be back to check on you in a few minutes.” No crying, fussing or anything.
    There are better ways than letting your sweet little boy cry and freak out until he falls into an exhausted sleep.

  4. D says:

    You have to remember, babies cry for attention. Whether or not it’s hurt, hungry or just bored. It’s the only way they have to communicate!

  5. accsmomm says:

    i couldnt do the ‘cry it out’ my son cried constantly for the first 4 months, i just dealt w/ it untill he knew that i didnt run away when he went to bed. now i lay w/ him in his room, he in his crib and me in the floor. its ‘mommy and me’ time, we tell each other goodnight, kiss, and hug, and he holds my hand…he’ll lay there for a while, sometimes toss and turn, but next thing i know hes asleep. we’ve been doin this for the past 6 months, and he has slept thru the night ever since. good luck.
    my son is 20 months by the way

  6. gnomes31 says:

    When ever my kids went thru this stage I would let them cry but I would stay in the room with them. I would wait till bed time to put their clothes away or pick up the toys.
    Seems both my children went thru a phase where you couldn’t move them to their beds with out them waking up. Or wouldn’t go to sleep but as soon as you carried them out to the couch or your bed they would go right to sleep.
    Stick with what ever you feel comfortable with tho, they will eventually get it :)

  7. Bun-Bun Momma says:

    To answer all your questions I would buy the book “Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems” by Richard Ferber, M.D. It will help you establish good sleeping patterns as well as help you when there is a re-laps again in the future at an older age for other reasons.
    Our little guy is 2years old and we started having sleep problems when he was 1. My personal experience (guided by the above book) is that sometimes you can tell they’re just a bit wound up and need some tension relieving hollering. Though other times it’s just because they’re pissed about having to go to sleep in the first place. Then you just have to be firm (but keep checking at increasing intervals). My advice is to NOT let them cry it out indefinitely… at one time we tried this tactic and after 10 minutes of his wailing we checked him only to find he had a legitimate issue (his foot was caught between the wall and the crib railing). We rarely have sleep problems. Most of the time our little one falls asleep with no fuss at all… but we worked on helping sleep by himself for a while. Sometimes I will have to rock him in the rocking chair or rub his back or sing to him. Or even bring him into our bed… as in the case of this last 4th of July when the *bleep* *bleeps* who live on our street were firing off mortar rounds until 4am. He was terrified. He NEEDED the reassurance. And sometimes they’ve had a stressful day and need some help winding down (rocking chair). I always give him the chance to fall asleep on his own… if he fusses I just tell him that he needs to try to sleep on his own for 45minuts. If he still can’t sleep I’ll rock him for 10minutes or so and then he usually falls to sleep no problem. When I say he needs occasional help this really depends on his emotional/physical growth spurts. Sometimes I don’t have to help him fall asleep for 2 months. And other times he’s making quantum leaps of growth and needs help 3 nights in a row. Always make sure you don’t make a habit of helping them. Unless there is serious illness I wouldn’t go past 5 nights in a month (in a row or spread out), because then you just have to train them that they need to be able to comfort themselves to sleep all over again. Which is traumatic on you and him. Also at this age watch out for “stall out tactics”. My little one’s favorite progression is this: I need to go to the potty (clearly he just went in his diaper), I need a drink of water, I have a hang-nail, my back is itchy (put lotion on it), my eyes are itchy (come hold a wet cloth on my eyes for the next half hour), my pillow needs fluffing… it can go on and on. We all want to meet the needs our little ones have, but be wary of this tactic or you can spend the next 3 hours catering to his needs. When to not give in… well, I see we’ve been having an allergy-free day, and as soon as I put him down he claims to have itchy eyes… stall out tactic. …has been having terrible allergy attack all day… probably really does need the cloth… you just have to play it by ear. And know that some times you WILL get it wrong. We all do. Forgive your mistakes. You’re a good parent. Sorry to be so long winded… it runs in my family. :-)

  8. txholdem says:

    I agree with “olelady55″….my daughter has twins…and the pediatrician suggested this same method……after 5 days when she put them to bed they went right to sleep

  9. you should try to tell him a story or sing-put him at ease and try and make it a pleasant experience. Let him know you will see him at “wake up time” or when “the sun wakes up”. Talk to him in terms he will understand. The crying is more for attention and to get you to do what he wants. But you need to show him that you are the boss. If after five minutes he’s still crying, go in calm him down and tell him he has to go to sleep. Be firm in this. It takes approx. 2 weeks for a child to change their behavior, so don’t despair if it doesn’t work right away

  10. Onyx Blackman says:

    I’m no expert (I’m just a normal 17-year-old), but it seems to me that if a baby’s crying, it means that something’s wrong and it needs to be taken care of.

  11. Michelle A says:

    Unfortunately for you….you have waiting until he is two. I have three kids and my first two I was not so good at the bed time routine so with the third—-I let him cry it out when he was 7 months old and it was THE best thing I ever did. He goes down without ANY problems now that he is 20 months and has slept through the night since then too.
    So, that is not much help to you now……
    I would begin by establishing a night time routine. I would begin it about an hour before bed time! This means things like: Bath, watch 1/2 hour of TV, read a few stories, prayers, brush teeth etc. Whatever YOU want the routine to be—but it should be consistant EVERY night. Kids like routine.
    BIG SUGGESTION: You might want to start this **LATE** the first night—-and move it back by 15 minutes every night until he is in bed at a reasonable time.
    When you finally have him tucked in bed. Explain to him that it is now time to go to sleep. Is he still in a crib? That actually helps! Hugs and Kisses and goodnight. We have a fan running in the room for white noise……Then lights out and leave.
    I see no problem with letting him cry for five minutes. Go back in, no picking him up……love, kisses, time for bed….lay him back down…..leave—–this time I would extend it by a few minutes. When he gets the hint that this is not going to get him what he wants, he will go to sleep. It is hard and it is TOUGH to do. I will promise you that it will ONLY be for a few nights and then your routine will be in place and life will be MUCH more peaceful.

  12. northern says:

    i hate this metho!not only does it make him distressed but it makes me distressed too cos if a baby or child is crying it usually means something is wrong and they want comforting etc. also it can cause hernias in little boys.

  13. Catrina S says:

    Well when my daughter was about two I got kind of tired of having to lay down with her while she went to bed. So i tried just letting her cry herself to sleep. it didn’t always work sometime she would cry for hours before finally passing out. Or someone getting sick of her crying and me having to lay down with her. I was told the best way to do it is to slowly move towards the door. Every night just move a little bit farther away until eventually your not even in the room any more. that worked for me. Now I don’t always hlf to lay down with her. But I still do it every once in a while. Especially during huge storms or something

  14. This is the BEST ANSWER!! I got this from my pediatrician and it worked for my daughter…
    Go through your normal good nite routine. Once you lay him down go out of the room. Let him cry for 3mins and then go back in the room. DO NOT turn on the light. Tell him “This is your bed, this is your room and it’s time to go to sleep. Good night.”
    Let him cry for 5 mins. Go back in the room but don’t approach his bed/crib. Tell him, “This is your bed, this is your room and it’s time to go to sleep. Good night.”
    Keep doing this adding 2 minutes to the amount of time you wait b4 going in his room. Its tiring and it will take about a week but once he’s in there… It’s wonderful.
    Don’t let people tell you its cruel or abuse to let him cry. It’s not! Nobody has ever died from crying. Its hard to listen to but its worth it. If you don’t do it, he will sleep in your bed until the end of time.

  15. koko kitten says:

    Yes, that method works. It’s hard at first, but eventually he will get the idea that you aren’t going to give to him and start going to sleep on his own. This is actually something you should started when he was younger (I started my son at 2 months old).

  16. Sugar Dumplin says:

    I don’t think so. I wouldn’t do it myself. I always enjoyed rocking my son in a rocking chair & singing to him til he fell asleep. Enjoy being able to do that while you can they grow up so very fast.

  17. Tarabear says:

    No thats abuse

  18. Your son is still just a baby. Lay down with him read to him, sing, or just lay and be quiet till he gets to sleep but please never let him cry himself to sleep.
    I think that would make him more scared than anything else. Soon enough you won’t have to worry about this anymore, so for now just love him up and enjoy him!!! It will make him feel alot more secure and the time with him I am sure will be special to you.

  19. rosalove says:

    he at age to stay up all day and good fresh air and let play give him a good warm bath and lay beside him for a little or read a small story book and u be surprise his little eyes be shut and in his dreams.

  20. EmM says:

    No. Please don’t do that. A baby who falls asleep having exhausted himself with all the crying will never get a good night’s sleep and will wake up cranky too. He will then want to cling to you all of the next day. Just like we adults cannot get a good night’s rest if we have something on our mind the child too will subconsciously be thinking”why is momma doing this to me” .
    What I do with my son (16 mths) is I give him a good snack at 4 pm we go down to play, return at 7.00pm have a bath and a small supper. We take him to his room, dim the lights and put on some soft music(nursery rhymes) and let him fiddle around with his toys for a while and then we read him a book while we cuddle him. He falls asleep with a smile and woke refreshed in the morning “Ready for action”
    Our routine may not be best for you but please, please do not let the baby cry himself to sleep.

  21. krystal says:

    i dont think its a good idea. it makes putting little ones to bed an absolute nightmare. if you are having trouble getting your son to sleep, maybe you should try some soft music. or sit in the room with him while he falls asleep. start out sitting on his bed with him for a few nights, then move a little further away from the bed, and further and further until you are out of the room. do you read him a bedtime story? maybe he would like that. get him in a routine and stick to it. like bath, story, sleep. do that every day and it should make it easier.

  22. way2sexy says:

    i’m old an i always crymyself 2 sleep try singin him a song

  23. proudmom says:

    surprisingly, your son will quickly learn that crying isn’t getting him anywhere and he will eventually fall asleep on his own. Crying will not hurt him as long as he is fed, loved, changed and cared for.

  24. Just Gone says:

    children shouldn’t be left to cry for more than five minute for every year of their lives. 1 year -5 minutes.crying himself to sleep will also allow him to associate sleeping with unpleasant feelings.

  25. aarika says:

    we let our daughter cry it out when she was about a year old at 2 1/2 she has been a great sleeper for a long time now and we all including her are much happier for it
    as long as he is fed and dry and not scared and you arent horrified by the thought then it is a very workable method but like everything else dont do it unless you are comfortable with it if you arent there are many other methods out there but i found this one to be the quickest and most effective one and it is far from child abuse

  26. youdontk says:

    As long as he’s not crying because he’s hungry and it’s just a temper tantrum, I don’t see anything wrong with this. Some parents tend to spoil their children by running to their crib to hold them and try to rock them to sleep. The problem with this is the child becomes dependent on you and will then keep crying until you run to the rescue once again. Also, you lose a lot of sleep and become stressed and that’s never a good thing. You have to teach your child that they don’t need you there to go to sleep. Eventually, they’ll learn and go to sleep on their own.

  27. olelady5 says:

    You’re going to have to be really strong for this. In fact, I recommend having the child’s father or a really good friend there when you attempt this. Put the child down and let him cry for 5 minutes. If he’s still crying, go into his room and talk to him. DO NOT PICK HIM UP!!! Just sooth him verbally, tell him everything is OK and that you love him and he needs to go to sleep. Then leave the room. This time let him cry for 10 minutes. Repeat the above. Next time let him cry for 15 minutes. NEVER LET HIM CRY FOR MORE THAN 15 MINUTES!! Keep telling yourself he’s safe, he’s not in pain, he just is in a learning stage. It will be OK, I promise. You won’t have to do this more than a few times, I promise. Be tuff, Mom! This is as much for him as for you! Good luck, sweetheart, and hang in there!!!!

  28. skidge says:

    my daughter went through this too and now my son is and i really really try to let them figure it out or they will always wake up bc they will expect you to be there so my advice is let them cry say 5 min one night and add a min every night after that and eventually he will go to sleep on his own

  29. Misty B says:

    I too had a hard time with my child at bedtime. I rocked her every night almost until she was 2. Now when it’s bedtime, I tell her to kiss her Daddy night-night and she goes upstairs and she lays in her bed and watches a movie(she’s asleep within 10 minutes.) She’s not screaming, I no longer have to rock and rock until she’s asleep and the TV shuts itself off or I go in there to turn the movie off long before it’s half through. I also play soothing music in the background. This method isn’t for everybody, and I’m sure I’ve got lots of people frowning right now, I don’t care. You have to do what works best for you. Try also, putting him in the bed and you sitting next to it for a couple of nights, and when he’s starting to drift off, leave the room. Just try not to pick him up when he starts to cry. I am a firm believer to never let your child cry till he/she falls asleep. DO what your Motherly instinct tells you to. Too soon, he’ll be older and no longer wanting Mommy to cuddle and kiss him. Embrace this, it shall pass.

  30. fuhreezi says:

    Well, my mom didn’t do that even though some of her friends did it and when I have a child I will not do it either. If you’re not comfortable with doing that then don’t. There are other methods, try some out until you find something that brings both you and your baby joy.
    I think one way is to make a routine bedtime thing. It will take awhile before your baby realizes its a routine thing so you’ll need some patience. But have fun with it, he/she ‘ll only be a baby once :)

  31. Beth S says:

    The “cry it out method” is tough to listen to and you have to be determined to not give in before you start this. If this method seems to harsh to you, there are several sleep books out there that recommend a gentler ‘cry it out’ method or no cry it out method at all. One of them is:
    The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley- this worked for us when our baby was 4 months old.

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