Do You Think It’s Wrong For My Child To Sleep In The Same Room With His Dad And New Girlfriend?

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I talked to my ex-husband about that fact that I thought it was inappropriate that he’s sleeping in the same room as our son with his new girlfriend. He says he doesn’t care what I think he is going to do it anyways. Our son says stuff like, I saw daddy and kim kissing when I was in bed. That just really #1 Hurts and #2 I think is morally wrong. He has NO respect for me or our son. I just don’t know what to do anymore. It is confusing to our child but that doesn’t seem to phase him. Everyone I’ve talked to thinks it’s wrong too. I want to know how someone can be this way. I know for a fact i would never in a million years do that. Unless we where going to get married. Why is this chick s o stupid to not see that that is really wrong?

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26 Responses to “Do You Think It’s Wrong For My Child To Sleep In The Same Room With His Dad And New Girlfriend?”

  1. Nina Lee says:

    Yes it’s wrong. What will be going through your son’s mind a year from now after he’s slept in the same room as daddy and a dozen different women? I have single friend who does this and it makes me furious. I don’t understand it. I’m so sorry.

  2. haydae24 says:

    I dont find it to be wrong unless they are having sex or doing innapropriate things in front of your child.
    I co-slept with all of my children with my husband in our bed and am still currently co-sleeping with my 2 1/2 year old. WE would definately never have sex with him in our room but kissing is normal and healthy for our children to see. There is no magical age when co-sleeping should be stopped.

  3. Betsy says:

    I think, honestly, this is abotu YOU being hurt by it. Your #1 and #2 state that. Your FIRST reason was you are hurt. Second perhaps they ARE plannign to get married, they wouldnt have to inform you. Lastly, then its the other woman being blind to the way HE is. Im an ex-wife too and I agree with you but I think you need to take a strong look at your motives for being unhappy about what they are doing.
    If your child is too old to be co-sleepgin which it sounds liek he is, then call DCF/HRS whatever theya re called where you live.

  4. Obama is not my president says:

    He’s wrong for not respecting how you feel. Me & my husband had a similar situation when we were first together with his ex & his daughter. I was young & probably pretty stupid in some aspects. We weren’t doing anything of course in front of his daughter, & we honestly had no bad intentions, we weren’t trying to be inconsiderate , we just didn’t really didn’t see any harm in it & we were all just trying to bond with each other but it still obviously bothered her mother, so we respected that & your ex should too. I can now understand that it could be hurtful, & it doesn’t mean that your pissed or insecure about anything to do with his relationship, don’t listen to everyone on here. I now realize how I would feel because I have a daughter of my own.

  5. Bethy4 says:

    Yes, for all the reasons previously stated and for all of those to be stated hereafter, it is wrong. God Bless.

  6. Suthern Yankee says:

    You have my sympathy and my 2 cents…here it goes:
    Your ex husband is wrong to let your son sleep in the same room with them. You’re being a good mom, don’t let him tell you otherwise. What YOU would do if you decided to date again and what HE’S doing are 2 different fruits, he’s being inconsiderate, insensitive and teaching your son about how to treat women.
    If he doesn’t care about you, that’s fine, he DOES have to care about his son and he obviously doesn’t, it’s time to talk to a lawyer about your custody arrangement. It’s also time to talk to your son or get him into counseling to see if it’s changed his perception of men, women, whatever. Don’t back down on this, girlfriend, you’re his mom.
    Now, with the second part of this…”How can he be this way?” Simple enough, he chooses to be and neither you or me or any judge is gonna change his mind, only he can do that. I wished I could help you with the hurt part of it, but that’s something that gets easier over time and soon, you’ll have a new, more respectful and loving husband and this hurt will be a long way off. Hang in there, this “chick” as you put it; (LOL!) isn’t stupid, she’s ignorant and just following your ex’s lead, Kim isn’t worth your tears.

  7. Well, if it were just sleeping, then I would say no, but since the rest of the question indicates that there is something more than that going on, then yes it is wrong.
    As the divorced parent of two girls, I would avoid situations like this at all costs. My children will never even meet a woman I am dating until I am confident that that person is going to be in their lives for a while. Seek advice from social services about what can be don’t to prevent exposing your son to such inappropriate situations

  8. workwant says:

    definitely

  9. Where does he sleep when he is at your house? Does he have his own room and stay in his own bed? And at his dad’s, is it small and there is no other room for him to sleep in? And most important, yes, your son says he saw them kiss, but what is his attitude when he says stuff like that? If he is uncomfortable, then dad needs to straighten up and do whats right for the child. Otherwise, everyone else might be comfortable with the situation, and you are feeling a little sensitive to being left out. I don’t mean that bad, but you need to really be honest with yourself. Don’t get into an argument with your sons dad if you can fix the situation yourself, and you’ll spend more time having positive conversations with him about your sons life. Which in the long run is the most important thing!

  10. kleighs mommy says:

    report this to social services and get him for child support and supervised visits this is very bad. your child could be watching them have sex eww

  11. Maria M says:

    Well, it’s wrong that he’s sleeping in the same room as your son with his girlfriend if A) they are having sex and B) if your son is uncomfortable with it. It’s obvious he’s not a baby if he’s able to tell you they were kissing in front of him. If they just happened to kiss but nothing else was going on, there’s really nothing wrong with that. Our society is so bent on kids sleeping in separate rooms but most other cultures share a room with the whole family.
    That being said, if your son is uncomfortable, he should say something and so should you. Your ex needs to have respect for his son and his feelings.
    As for you, yes, it hurts but unfortunately, he doesn’t need to care about your feelings. It would be nice if he did but he doesn’t have to. If he’s your ex, and he’s with another woman, move on. Don’t let that cloud your judgment. And, don’t let that affect the relationship that your son has with your ex.

  12. Doodlest says:

    Is it morally wrong is the question. Considering that in half of the world, entire families share one bedroom, are you saying that all these folks are immoral? I think you are exaggerating the situation, but I do understand. I wouldn’t want my son sharing a room with his father and latest flame,but he’s allowed to parent his way.
    I don’t know the age of your son, but he should talk to his Dad if something makes him feel uncomfortable. You’ve already made your ex aware that you don’t approve.

  13. Amy V says:

    Yes that is way wrong!!!! I don’t know what to tell you to do about it though. How old is the father? He is obviously very immature and cares only about himself and not the welfare of his child. That is WRONG.

  14. My husband has a 9 yr old from his previous marriage. One time she fell asleep in our room as we were watching a movie together late.
    This incident caused endless problems from his ex, which stemmed basically from her jealousy of my relationship with them.
    Why are you calling her a ‘stupid chick’? What is your son confused about? Surely he has seen people kiss/peck before, would you have had an issue if it was you, your husband and son in the room or would that be ok?
    Co sleeping is not immoral or disrespectful, thousands of families do this.
    It’s not the ‘chick’ who has a problem here, your ex should be laying down the law not her. Discuss with him what is acceptable and it would go on both sides.
    I didn’t even sleep over at my husband’s when his daughter was around until we were engaged.

  15. BraxOwl says:

    Yes, I do think it is wrong.
    How old is your son? Is he in the same bed, or just in the same room? Why is he sleeping in there?
    There is a difference between two parents co-sleeping with their own child or a child coming into their room at night because of bad dreams or strange noises, etc. But for this child to be witnessing Daddy kissing another woman (and who knows what else?) is wrong. They are not married.
    How long has the Father and the new girlfriend been together?
    What is your custody arrangement? I would definitely seek changes.
    When my sister and her daughter’s father went to court, their agreement stated that there could be no overnight guests (girlfriends/boyfriends) when the child was in the home (whether it be the mother or the father), unless they got married. That simple solution would solve this problem!

  16. Kathy says:

    Yes that is very wrong. You need to involve social services and have his visitation stopped unless he acts like a responsible parent.

  17. Blondie says:

    Maybe “Kim” does think she will marry your ex husband one day. You are letting your feelings for your ex husband take over the situation, in my opinion. You are jealous that this new girlfriend is in your son’s life & spending time with your ex husband and your son together. But, why doesn’t this child have his own room? If he is old enough to form his own sentences it’s definitely time for him to have a seperate room from Daddy. I do not think it’s wrong for them to “peck” in front of your son. Making out & anything furthur is pretty immoral though. From the way you explained it, the situation sounds okay…but my personal opinion is that I would never want to bring new boyfriends to meet my children until I know the relationship is serious. Your ex husband should not be bringing girls into his son’s life if they are just going to be gone a month later and in comes the next girlfriend. That is extremely emotionally damaging to a child with divorced parents, especially him being a boy he is going to think it’s okay to behave that way when he grows up. Calling the girl “stupid” just makes you look immature. My suggestion is if you can’t get through to your husband, talk to the girl. Sweetly, and calmy explain to her that your main concern is your child’s well being.

  18. oli24 says:

    yeah. that is bad….and sick

  19. Scuba Diver says:

    yes

  20. Laura says:

    yes, i would be very angry!!!!
    i am so glad that you divorced him.
    if there is nothing you can do to get full custody of your son, i would suggest talking to your son and ask him to ask his dad to sleep in a different room. most likely your son will listen to you and the ex will listen to your son, if he has a heart.
    you ex’s new gf sounds like a ***** and she wont lift a finger on your son’s behalf. just ignore her, dont let her get to you.

  21. the OTHER sister says:

    She obviously has no respect for you or your child either. That is very wrong. I sleep w/my baby (8months old) in the same room as me and my fiance. But, when he gets older to realize things…. I will move him into the room w/his older brother, who is 4yrs old.

  22. Nicole H says:

    of course it is wrong. Not only is it hard enough already on him that mommy and daddy aren’t together anymore, now he’s sleeping in the same room with a new girlfriend….don’t u think this is a little confusing for your son? a child needs stability not being bounced back and fourth and having girl friends or guy friends coming in and out of the picture. ur ex should stop being selfish of worrying about his own needs and start raising his/ur son the was a real father should. If he doesnt start now, ur son is going to be the one who pays….

  23. bam bam is single says:

    yes it is rly wrong!!!

  24. Koalabea says:

    know for a fact i would never in a million years do that. Unless we where going to get married.
    They might get married one day and then you will not have to get so jealous.
    I hope this child does not have a complex about kissing due to your reactions.
    I hope the father is not doing this to get at you. I see no wrong doings and think its all in your head. should he hide his feelings? NO should he force this on a child? NO
    It is OK to feel this way but do not say anything as it is his business and not yours. the child will make up there own mind about the situation. Get on with the things that you do have control over and remember that this could just be a stunt to make you upset but I do not think that for one moment. do not be a fool.
    I do not think that a kiss is so bad and I think he should not have to hide his feelings just because you do not want to know about it. as for any other comments about how you can get back at him”Shame on you all”…Get over it

  25. ? ? says:

    Tell your son to tell his father that he doesn’t like them doing that and would like to sleep in a different room.

  26. Concerned Aunt says:

    If they kiss that openly in front of the child, how are we to know they aren’t doing anything more?

    Same thing is happening to my sis and her ex. My niece, who is only 3 1/2 yrs old, sleeps on the same bed with his dad and his new gf. My sis didnt make a big deal out of it that much (she just mentioned to the dad to please avoid it from happening). Nothing changed so my sis got used to it already. She still gets upset by the thought of it but she stopped arguing with him over it.

    Just recently though, my niece blurted, out of nowhere, to our mom that her “auntie” (the new gf) and her daddy are naked. We couldn’t get more information from her because she suddenly started playing and would not talk to us about it anymore. We are well aware that kids are capable of making up stories sometimes BUT i highly doubt that a story like this only came from her imagination. I am now deeply concerned for my niece and what she’s being exposed to.

    You need to be firm about this. I really think it’s better to be safe than sorry.

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