Comments on: Why Would You Want Your Child To Sleep With You?

By: Me

Me — Fri, 15 May 2009 21:43:35 +0000

My kids share a bed with me for a variety of reasons.
1. My husband snores obnoxiously loud. Like, wake the dead, loud. I love him, but refuse to sleep next to a turned on chainsaw, which is what he sounds like.
2. If my boys are in the same bed, I can feel it if they get up and start messing around. I’m a light sleeper.
3. With all the media you hear lately about kids getting kidnapped out of their room in their own homes…I just won’t chance that.
4. They have their own room with their own beds…but my almost 4 year old thinks he can go outside at night, and the back door is 2 steps out of their room. Again, not chancing that.
No, my kids aren’t forced to sleep with me. If they wanted to stop I would let them. But I would bring their toddler beds to the room I sleep in. All those things I mentioned won’t change just because we don’t share a bed anymore. Until they completely understand that after dark is bedtime, which means stay in bed, they will sleep near me. I won’t risk my kids going out the door after dark or subject myself to sleeping with my very loud husband because it’s what people expect me to do.
And again, no I won’t be sharing a bed with them when they are much older. Maybe a few more years, if that. I won’t be another Michael Jackson wanting to share my bed forever. I just do it now for safety and convenience reasons.

By: Armywife2728 [expecting boy # 2]

Armywife2728 [expecting boy # 2] — Fri, 15 May 2009 21:43:35 +0000

For me, it was just easier, and boy was that the biggest mistake I ever made. Once my son realized he was sleeping in bed with mommy, he did NOT want to get out. It wasn’t until he was almost 2 that I got him sleeping in his own bed. If I could go back and do it all over again I would have never let him sleep with me. Now i’m almost 34 weeks with another baby and i’m not letting this one sleep with me, no way. It’s crib for him, I didn’t spend money on a crib for it to go to waste. I’m not sure of other people’s reasoning though, but I know I made a mistake and wish I could’ve changed it.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 15 May 2009 21:43:34 +0000

There is nothing wrong with co-sleeping. In my husband’s culture it is common for infants and young children to sleep in the same room as their parents and then when they hit around 7 years of age, move them into their own beds and own bedrooms. All 25 of my newphews and nieces (the oldest being 18 this year and the youngest being a baby of maybe 1 month) are all perfectly healthy and have no social issues at all. They are not mentall impaired in any way, shape or form.
The commonly accepted practice in middle-class American families is for infants and children to sleep in seperate beds, and when finances permit, in seperate rooms from their parents. Child-care experts in the United States have generally endorsed this practice. Sleepign in the same room, they warn, can lead to problems such as the development of overdepndence, the difficulty of breaking the habit when the child gets older, and even accidental sexual stimulation of the child. (Morelli, et al., 1992). Yet, in many other cultures, children sleep with their mothers for the first few years of life, often in the same bed (Javo et al., 2004). This practice, known as co-sleeping, occurs in cultures that are technologically advanced, such as Austria (Rothraff et al., 2004) and Japan (Takahashi, 1990), and in those that are less technologically sophisticated, such as the indigenous Sami people of Norway (Javo et al., 2004). Resistance to going to bed occurs regulary in 20-40% of American infants and preschoolers (Johnson, 1991), but it seldom occurs in culturs that practice co-sleeping. Some psychologists believe that the resistance shown by some young American children at bedtime is caused by the stress of seperating from parents. This view is supported by the finding that young children who sleep with or near their parents are less likely to use transitional objects or to such their thumbs at night than are children who sleep alone (Morelli et al., 1992; Wolf & Lozoff, 1989). Research does not reveal harmful effects for co-sleeping. For example, an Austrian study found no significant differences between children’s sleeping arrangements and their subsequent social development (Rothraff et al., 20004). Among the Norwegian Sami, children not only slept with their parents but-also unilke other Norwegians-regulated thier own sleeping and eating schedules. Sami parents were less tolerant of aggressive behavior in their children than Norwegian parents were. The outcome of all these cultural approaches was connected with relativley greater social independence among Sami children.

By: MelC

MelC — Fri, 15 May 2009 21:43:33 +0000

it’s because so many people want to “baby” their babies or think oh how cute a couple nights here and there won’t matter but they don’t realize what a problem it ends up being. I don’t know I agree with you my will never sleep in my bed he’ll just know it’s mommy and daddy bed and he has his own

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 15 May 2009 21:43:33 +0000

Most animals sleep with their offspring, until their offspring are old enough and independent enough to sleep alone. Some animals make mistakes and keep their children sleeping with them for too long, some kick them out too early (I am thinking mainly of apes here). Humans are no exception, we are different, we have different experiences and different ideas about how to live our lives. That’s why, because what is odd for you is normal for others. That’s just life.

By: thecat25

thecat25 — Fri, 15 May 2009 21:43:33 +0000

i understand – my son has slept in his cot since birth.
My son only lays in our bed of a night for a little play and then he falls asleep and i put him in his cot.
He only sleeps with us on a RARE occasion like last night because he had a slight fever and it was easier to let him sleep in our bed, as opposed to getting up every hour with him.
He is getting put in his own room in a couple of months, and he will be fine.
I dont think children should sleep with their parents, it is a habit that eventually gets too hard to break.

By: mygirl17

mygirl17 — Fri, 15 May 2009 21:43:33 +0000

i understand your q it’s kinda a funny q but i am guilty of letting my daughter lay with me at times. it started when she was a few months old and sometimes i would lay with her in my arms and feed her till she fell asleep and then i would fall asleep. Even when she was older around a year and over she wanted to lay with me sometimes it’s just comforting for her and even me. it makes me feel wanted and loved and shes comforted by it. She would lie with me sometimes till her dad came in to go to bed and then he would put her in her bed. Had to stop after awhile though because she was wanting to do it all the time. But occasionally she will lay with me on the couch and take a nap or if she does not feel good. I think it’s just about comfort.

By: Katiesma

Katiesma — Fri, 15 May 2009 21:43:33 +0000

I had a circumstance with my daughter where we were both in and out of the hospital with an infection for her first 2 months of life. I had no peace unless she was right next to me in her co-sleeper
(side car attachment). I transitioned her out by 8 months. For me it was the only way to be able to get a good night sleep. Sometimes as a parent you do something that is less than ideal, to get you through a difficult time.

By: aliciali

aliciali — Fri, 15 May 2009 21:43:33 +0000

We only ever had our kids in bed with us on a rare occasion for special times like when one of us was away or once when all four of us had the flu together. I belive that the people that room in with thier kids are being lazy at first because they don’t want to have to get up when the baby cries…I know several women that breast fed and it was very easy to just pop a boob in the babys mouth and not have to get up….it just gets worse from there.

By: Mariya S

Mariya S — Fri, 15 May 2009 21:43:33 +0000

I don’t think any one wants their kids in bed with them, but often when the kid is up soooo much and you just want rest, you take him in bed with you cause it’s easier that way and the kids get used to it very fast. Then is becomes hard to brake that habit so we end up with our kids in our bed.