Why Would You Want Your Child To Sleep With You?
I understand everyone is different and everyone raises their child differently, but why would you want your child to sleep with you? I have read so many people complain about how they cannot get their child out of the bed. in a relationship, you need that bed for the two adults. babies and children have their own beds. they need to have that independence for themselves and you need the time alone for adult things or even just a break from the child/ren. So i guess my question is, why would you want your child to sleep with you? permanently mind you, not just every now and then.
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May 29 2009 11:43 pm | Cure Insomnia
May 16th, 2009 at 7:43 am
it’s because so many people want to “baby” their babies or think oh how cute a couple nights here and there won’t matter but they don’t realize what a problem it ends up being. I don’t know I agree with you my will never sleep in my bed he’ll just know it’s mommy and daddy bed and he has his own
May 16th, 2009 at 7:43 am
Most animals sleep with their offspring, until their offspring are old enough and independent enough to sleep alone. Some animals make mistakes and keep their children sleeping with them for too long, some kick them out too early (I am thinking mainly of apes here). Humans are no exception, we are different, we have different experiences and different ideas about how to live our lives. That’s why, because what is odd for you is normal for others. That’s just life.
May 16th, 2009 at 7:43 am
i understand – my son has slept in his cot since birth.
My son only lays in our bed of a night for a little play and then he falls asleep and i put him in his cot.
He only sleeps with us on a RARE occasion like last night because he had a slight fever and it was easier to let him sleep in our bed, as opposed to getting up every hour with him.
He is getting put in his own room in a couple of months, and he will be fine.
I dont think children should sleep with their parents, it is a habit that eventually gets too hard to break.
May 16th, 2009 at 7:43 am
i understand your q it’s kinda a funny q but i am guilty of letting my daughter lay with me at times. it started when she was a few months old and sometimes i would lay with her in my arms and feed her till she fell asleep and then i would fall asleep. Even when she was older around a year and over she wanted to lay with me sometimes it’s just comforting for her and even me. it makes me feel wanted and loved and shes comforted by it. She would lie with me sometimes till her dad came in to go to bed and then he would put her in her bed. Had to stop after awhile though because she was wanting to do it all the time. But occasionally she will lay with me on the couch and take a nap or if she does not feel good. I think it’s just about comfort.
May 16th, 2009 at 7:43 am
I had a circumstance with my daughter where we were both in and out of the hospital with an infection for her first 2 months of life. I had no peace unless she was right next to me in her co-sleeper
(side car attachment). I transitioned her out by 8 months. For me it was the only way to be able to get a good night sleep. Sometimes as a parent you do something that is less than ideal, to get you through a difficult time.
May 16th, 2009 at 7:43 am
We only ever had our kids in bed with us on a rare occasion for special times like when one of us was away or once when all four of us had the flu together. I belive that the people that room in with thier kids are being lazy at first because they don’t want to have to get up when the baby cries…I know several women that breast fed and it was very easy to just pop a boob in the babys mouth and not have to get up….it just gets worse from there.
May 16th, 2009 at 7:43 am
I don’t think any one wants their kids in bed with them, but often when the kid is up soooo much and you just want rest, you take him in bed with you cause it’s easier that way and the kids get used to it very fast. Then is becomes hard to brake that habit so we end up with our kids in our bed.
May 16th, 2009 at 7:43 am
I would NEVER let my child sleep in the same bed as me. Very bad habit to start and even harder to break away from.
All children should have their own bed in another room.
If the child is ill, then I might spent the night in their room if need be, but never in their bed. I would make a bed up on the floor.
May 16th, 2009 at 7:43 am
You have to take into consideration many factors such as the age of the child, and any other special conditions/circumstances that they are bearing. We can’t just make an all encompassing rule in regards to sensitive matters such as these.
May 16th, 2009 at 7:43 am
I agree with you. There is no need. Why, that I don’t know. Other things don’t seem right to me either. One of my friends still pats her child’s back so he can fall asleep. He is 8. Very strange.
May 16th, 2009 at 7:43 am
Over Protected
May 16th, 2009 at 7:43 am
i let my daughter sleep next to me whenever she wants to, sometimes we sleep next to each other at night, i see nothing wrong with it at all
May 16th, 2009 at 7:43 am
some people just like being able to lie there and cuddle their child. perfectly normal.
May 16th, 2009 at 7:43 am
Well with my first my daughter didnt sleep with us, but then she was okay on her own very independant.
MY son came, and he would not relent and would cry cry cry until he could cuddle up beside me. What could l do he was a cuddle bug. And I will admit it was 8months of my husband on the couch and me and baby in the bed. But after that my son easily transistioned and was totally okay to sleep in his crib and now we are back to normal.
I have a very close bond with my son now, I’d have to say closer than my daughter…love them the same but it did bond me and him. Me and my husband suffered no harm in the whole 8months, now not every case is like this, but this worked realyl well for us. They are babies for such a short time, sometimes its just best to go along with what they perfer….he’s a happy baby, I’m a happy mom, my husband was happy cause I was happy….lol
I was just as agaisnt it trust me, but every person and baby is different…I cant say why my son was needing a little more comfort but he was, I met his needs and in the end he was okay to venture out into his own bed when ready. I did push it a little, figured he was older and ready, and he was.
I agree with katies mama…8months must be the ticker…transition them then…lol
May 16th, 2009 at 7:43 am
There is nothing wrong with co-sleeping. In my husband’s culture it is common for infants and young children to sleep in the same room as their parents and then when they hit around 7 years of age, move them into their own beds and own bedrooms. All 25 of my newphews and nieces (the oldest being 18 this year and the youngest being a baby of maybe 1 month) are all perfectly healthy and have no social issues at all. They are not mentall impaired in any way, shape or form.
The commonly accepted practice in middle-class American families is for infants and children to sleep in seperate beds, and when finances permit, in seperate rooms from their parents. Child-care experts in the United States have generally endorsed this practice. Sleepign in the same room, they warn, can lead to problems such as the development of overdepndence, the difficulty of breaking the habit when the child gets older, and even accidental sexual stimulation of the child. (Morelli, et al., 1992). Yet, in many other cultures, children sleep with their mothers for the first few years of life, often in the same bed (Javo et al., 2004). This practice, known as co-sleeping, occurs in cultures that are technologically advanced, such as Austria (Rothraff et al., 2004) and Japan (Takahashi, 1990), and in those that are less technologically sophisticated, such as the indigenous Sami people of Norway (Javo et al., 2004). Resistance to going to bed occurs regulary in 20-40% of American infants and preschoolers (Johnson, 1991), but it seldom occurs in culturs that practice co-sleeping. Some psychologists believe that the resistance shown by some young American children at bedtime is caused by the stress of seperating from parents. This view is supported by the finding that young children who sleep with or near their parents are less likely to use transitional objects or to such their thumbs at night than are children who sleep alone (Morelli et al., 1992; Wolf & Lozoff, 1989). Research does not reveal harmful effects for co-sleeping. For example, an Austrian study found no significant differences between children’s sleeping arrangements and their subsequent social development (Rothraff et al., 20004). Among the Norwegian Sami, children not only slept with their parents but-also unilke other Norwegians-regulated thier own sleeping and eating schedules. Sami parents were less tolerant of aggressive behavior in their children than Norwegian parents were. The outcome of all these cultural approaches was connected with relativley greater social independence among Sami children.
May 16th, 2009 at 7:43 am
My kids share a bed with me for a variety of reasons.
1. My husband snores obnoxiously loud. Like, wake the dead, loud. I love him, but refuse to sleep next to a turned on chainsaw, which is what he sounds like.
2. If my boys are in the same bed, I can feel it if they get up and start messing around. I’m a light sleeper.
3. With all the media you hear lately about kids getting kidnapped out of their room in their own homes…I just won’t chance that.
4. They have their own room with their own beds…but my almost 4 year old thinks he can go outside at night, and the back door is 2 steps out of their room. Again, not chancing that.
No, my kids aren’t forced to sleep with me. If they wanted to stop I would let them. But I would bring their toddler beds to the room I sleep in. All those things I mentioned won’t change just because we don’t share a bed anymore. Until they completely understand that after dark is bedtime, which means stay in bed, they will sleep near me. I won’t risk my kids going out the door after dark or subject myself to sleeping with my very loud husband because it’s what people expect me to do.
And again, no I won’t be sharing a bed with them when they are much older. Maybe a few more years, if that. I won’t be another Michael Jackson wanting to share my bed forever. I just do it now for safety and convenience reasons.
May 16th, 2009 at 7:43 am
For me, it was just easier, and boy was that the biggest mistake I ever made. Once my son realized he was sleeping in bed with mommy, he did NOT want to get out. It wasn’t until he was almost 2 that I got him sleeping in his own bed. If I could go back and do it all over again I would have never let him sleep with me. Now i’m almost 34 weeks with another baby and i’m not letting this one sleep with me, no way. It’s crib for him, I didn’t spend money on a crib for it to go to waste. I’m not sure of other people’s reasoning though, but I know I made a mistake and wish I could’ve changed it.