At What Age Does It Become Inappropriate For A Child To Sleep In Bed With Parents?

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My better half insists it is ok for her daughter to sleep in bed with us. At what age does this become inappropriate? Is this normal?

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25 Responses to “At What Age Does It Become Inappropriate For A Child To Sleep In Bed With Parents?”

  1. TB aka Tam!l!c!ous says:

    I think a child is to old (2&3) when they started talking!

  2. Diane B says:

    I don’t think children, even babies should be allowed to sleep with their parents. There is nothing wrong with having a baby in a bassinette in the parents room, but to establish the habit of a child sleeping in bed with the parents is totally inappropriate at any age. It is ok for children to come in for a quick snuggle or early in the morning for a good morning kiss but sleeping in bed with the parents is just not right.

  3. Baby boy blue says:

    My husband and I havent had our own bed in 8 years. Although my daughter has her own room and her own bed she ends up sleeping in our bed. there are times when she sleeps in her bed but will wake up around 2 or 3 in the morning and crawl into bed with us. my husband is a big softee with our daughter so he doesnt mind. Im usually so out that i dont feel her crawling into our bed. Until I feel her foot kick me in the ribs.

  4. martin s says:

    once they are a toddler they should be incoraged to sleep in their own bed, but i dont think it ever becomes inappropriate till around 10. but still they should at all ages be incoraged to stay in their own bed

  5. Me says:

    This is a personal question. In our cuture,
    having a child sleep with the parnets when
    really little is frowned upon, but some people
    do that for various reasons. In other cultures
    it is widespread when they are really little.
    In our situation, our little son was not sleeping well. I tried everything so ended
    up putting him to be with my and me……..
    he was really little………..he went right
    to sleep but the problem was, he got
    used to it. Of course we were never
    intimate with him around………….that I
    would say is NEVER appropriate, even
    if they are fast asleep. You would have
    to find another time/place for that when
    the child is totally out of the room………
    If you feel it’s not appropriate for you
    you might try talking more to your spouse…..
    I don’t know the age you are referring
    I think it depends on the family but in our
    case, it worked out well except that our
    child got used to it and it was hard to
    break but it was definitely at least better
    than him not sleeping and we all at
    least got sleep.
    There are articles and info about this
    online, I would do a yahoo search about
    There is a danger when it’s a small baby
    or small child that a parent could unintentionally roll over on top of the child
    and harm him…….I don’t think this happens
    often, but it is a consideration.
    One possible solution with a very young
    baby/child is to give them their own
    bed but keep the bed in the bedroom with
    you………this does NOT solve the time
    alone issue, obviously but at least
    you have more space/privacy………
    Check out “attachment parenting” by
    Dr. Sears. Some people believe babies
    and young children need to receive
    a lot of attention, holding, etc naturally..
    however, not every parent can live up
    to this ideal either and it could drive
    a parent “nuts” if they try to do something
    that goes beyond what they can actually
    cope with.
    Good parenting can take different forms,
    and when you love your spouse and
    child, you will find solutions that work for
    you…… may not be the same as another
    family…….You do have needs and limits,
    Don’t feel bad that you have limits and needs, too, as a parent and person.
    Early years are great but also very demanding. I think the child needs to
    know you love him/her and will take
    care of him/her and that can take various
    forms so long as they are moral, ethical,
    legal, etc.
    You can find other people online who feel
    as you do, then nicely share that with
    your spouse. Sometimes spouses are
    unaware of the other’s needs and sometimes a spouse gets neglected unintentionally when there is a baby or
    yound child.
    We had arguments because my dear
    h wasn’t spending time w me, (was doing
    his best) and I got worn out caring for my
    young child all day……….and needed breaks, and needed my h………..
    I advise to avoid arguing if you can
    (it escalates) but try to find a time to
    nicely and calmly share.

  6. It depends on the child. Most children grow out of it by five years of age. Then there are those with disabilities like Asperger’s Syndrome (autism) that sleep with their parents until in their teens, but it all depends on the child and the parent too. If you could explain how the child acts I might be able to tell you more about it.
    e-mail is

  7. Wonder Woman says:

    I think on a regular basis over 3 yrs old would be too weird.

  8. Check, Please.™ says:

    hey my little sister is 10 (yeah, 10) and she still sleeps with mommy and daddy. she should have stopped at around 3. unless they gave a [rare] bad dream, thats okay

  9. Hot Momma ;) says:

    I’d say it becomes ‘inappropriate’ after puberty.
    I was just talking about this today with my friend whose 8 year old still sleeps in with his parents every night because he is scared of the dark. I think 8 is even a little too old, for the kids sake, of not having to learn how to deal with it by himself when he gets scared.

  10. BlackDah says:

    That’s something for a couple to decide. In some cultures, the child can sleep with the parents until reach puberty or longer. This is called co-sleeping by the way. You can look it up. I PERSONALLY don’t think I’d let child older than 3 sleep CONSISTANTLY with me in the bed. Once in a while would be okay if they have a bad dream or whatever. That’s up for you and your partner to decide.

  11. well I did, on occasion, till I was about 8 or 9…and only when there was a really bad thunderstorm and I was scared. I think that 8 or 9 is an okay age to be in a parent’s bed on occasion, but not every single night. Once my dad showed me that thunderstorms were actually really cool I was fine in my own bed from there on out….I was probably 9 then.

  12. smartsas says:

    Yes it’s normal for children to sleep with your when they are infants, and occasionally when they are older. In other countries, children sleep with the parents until there is a new baby and no longer room for them, to conserve heat. People in America think it’s inappropriate because we’re so prudish about sex.

  13. Ryan's mom says:

    My husband and I only allow our son to sleep in our bed once in a while. It is not healthy for a couple to have to share a bed with their child. When are you supposed to have “Alone time”? You can’t really have sex while your child is in your bed, that is just sick.

  14. Maureen says:

    At whatever age the child is when either the child or one of the parents becomes uncomfortable or unhappy with the sleeping arrangements.

  15. mommy says:

    My daughter is 4 and sneaks in my bed at night with me. I can not stand it, i make her go back to her room and stay there, she always wants to sleep with me. I don’t think parents should let there kids sleep in their beds at all, kids need to be in their own beds, to get better nights sleep . I think kids should sleep in their own beds from day one, unless there is a really bad storm outside and they are scared, but other then that i don’t like it , but that is just me. I sleep so much better when she is not in my bed and she does too.

  16. Lovemyki says:

    Well my boys would come into mine and my husbands bed at night til they were about 4 and then I tried to keep them in their beds. My 5 year old still comes into bed on occasion.

  17. Kal says:

    about 10

  18. ? says:

    well i guess i’m weird then because my daughter is 5 and every night she has ended up in my bed for the last few months..and i have no problem with it at times… haven’t said how old your daughter is either..right now I should be getting my daughter to go back to her bed..and maybe your wife needs to do the same thing

  19. Nell says:

    I think after like four everyday is unreasonable, I mean seriously parents need to have time alone. But every once and while if they have a nightmare or something makes sense. My one year old sleeps in a cribe in our room, if she cries we normally take her into our bed. My five year old comes in when she gets scared, which is fine cause its not all the time. Some kids take longer then others to want to sleep on their own. My daughter who is now 15 tried to sleep in our bed until she was about 8, sometimes you have to tell them its time for them to sleep on their own. But it is normal, they are attatched to you cause your their parent and its where they are most secure. Give it time, when she falls asleep try moving her to her bed, eventually she will just stay there. I don’t think there really is an age that it becomes inappropriate, its your child, when my husband is away my oldest will sometimes come sleep my room with me, or all of them, its whatever you and your wife feel comfortable with.

  20. mamamoon says:

    exactly what would make it inappropriate?
    I say for as long said child and parents are comfortable with.

  21. iamhis0 says:

    Whenever child or parent feel uncomfortable doing so. There is no age to be put there, it is different for everyone.

  22. ? THAT GIRL ? says:

    The day you bring them home they should be in their own bed. If it’s too late for that, I would say 2.

  23. Godzilla says:

    10 ish

  24. TI 121+ PLATINUM edition ? says:

    Around 4 is the maximum age of appropriateness, but not on a regular basis…maybe like when she says she’s scared. She should never sleep every night with you two on a normal basis, but every once in a while it’s no big deal.

  25. Peaches says:

    I am a single mom and my son is 10 and my daughter is 8. I will admit that I don’t get a good nights sleep with them in my bed but every once in a while I let them climb in and sleep with me. I personally find it bonding for us and think it has brought us closer together as a family unit. We tell stories and talk about things going on. They don’t mind sleeping in their own beds, but I think it also helps them feel more secure and closer to their mother. Everyone is different though and if I were still married, I would say that it was not a good idea…probably one reason of many that I am divorced. =)

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